I had some thing huge happen today. Most times when I give the baby a bath I have this thought that haunts me. Each time I think how easy it would be to just leave her in the bath to drown. Not that I want to do that but just how easy it would be to walk away. The thought assaults me and I'm afraid of it. I dread giving her a bath. For the first time I didn't have that thought. It didn't beat me up. I gave her a bath and she was the only one crying!
I feel really good today. I've been happy. I talked and joked with the women at my MOMS group and I really felt happy while doing it. There wasn't the underlining sadness that there usually is. I didn't have to fake it. I'm told its only going to get better! *huge grin*
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